you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
