end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
