My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
