I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
