Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
