I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
