I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
