it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
