it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
