It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
