Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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