why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
