so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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