Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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