He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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