You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh god it's open bar.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
