It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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