Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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