So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
