i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
