Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
