is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
