Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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