Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
