it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
