the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Princesses don't give blow jobs
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
