so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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