so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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