wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
