I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
