Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
