woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
