I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
