we made out on top of his cat.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
