Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
zippers are such a cool invention
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Houston, we have a squirter
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
