just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
