She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
