i just wanna soil my oats bro
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
