Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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