I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
