we have officially lost it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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