We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
