Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
