i think my tv is drunk
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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