i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
