you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
