I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
