why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
