Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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