Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
