this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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