That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
