You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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