did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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