Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
