awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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